Ew, I stepped in gender stereotypes, how to help your child dodge them?
- girlupshine
- Dec 23, 2021
- 3 min read
“Don’t cry, you’re a boy”, “It’s a shame that your daughter doesn’t know how to cook”, “your walk is so feminine”, “your shoulders make you look masculine”. The little boy, confused and in a complete state of dilemma sits down at the corner of his room, an identity “crisis” firming its hold over him. Everything that he had heard people say since his childhood has now started to make sense to him. Does that mean that he can’t play with his favourite doll anymore? With trembling hands and eyes filled with tears, he opens the trash chute and empties his toy box in it. Seeing his childhood getting destroyed in front of his eyes just like that was painful but what was more important was for him to “fit in”. Who likes to be mocked at, showered with weird looks and unnecessary stares when all one is trying to do is enjoy their childhood?
When we speak of gender stereotypes, the first thing that comes to our mind is ‘gender-specific roles’. Why not? The most common form in which gender stereotypes prevail in our society is in the form of gender roles. However, there is a lot more to gender stereotypes than we can ever imagine. It is so deeply ingrained in the minds of people and instilled so effortlessly in the society that it is overlooked all the time. We all remember how Ross flipped out on seeing Ben playing with a barbie. That was all fiction, so the implications of that act could not be seen. In real life, a child in the same situation will either grow up to bully others if they do not fit in the box of gender roles or the child will not be able to lead a happy life because of being barred from doing things according to one’s choices. How do we find a way out of it? The need of the hour is to educate the parents. Yes, you read it right! Educating the parents doesn’t mean bringing them back to classrooms and lecturing them wherein half of what is being taught is not even paid heed to. Awareness needs to be spread amongst parents on how they should respect their children’s choices whether it be the colour their children like, the game they want to play, the way they express their grief or what their hobbies are.
Parents can play a primary role in curbing gender stereotypes since they are the ones who shape their child’s mind and behaviour.
One way is to reverse a stereotype. This will not give the child an idea that certain things are supposed to be done by people belonging to a particular gender only. If the child asks questions or says something that sounds inappropriate since it might establish the conventional gender norms, ask them why they think that way and correct them accordingly instead of straightaway telling them they are wrong. Simply educating the child won’t be enough. Parents need to challenge gender stereotypes in their homes as well and apply it to their own lives. Usage of gender-neutral language at homes can help reduce gender bias and also takes the LGBTQIA+ community into consideration. The belief in the existence of only two genders and also the belief that they always go with the sex assigned at birth is also a stereotype related to gender. Communication is the key here, talk to your child and make them feel comfortable so that they find it easier to express how they feel about various things.
We have come a long way, destroying, breaking, fighting various gender stereotypes that have played with the minds of these little kids, stereotypes that have been confining them with manacles and restricting their choices and preferences. We need to give rise to a better society, a society that does not judge a girl riding a motorbike and a boy cooking his favourite dish, a society that respects all genders and a society that respects the choices children make irrespective of their gender. We need a society wherein no person feels threatened or ashamed because of their preferences. It’s not too late, we can still build the society we have all been dreaming about so that children don’t have to throw their toys away in the trash anymore.
~By Juhi Gautam
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